Monday, June 20, 2011
The contents of this post may be offensive to women and is for mature audience.
As my friends and I sat around the BBQ sipping our beers. One of my friends ,who is a fan of Denny Crane from Boston Legal, boldly stated "An angel in the bedroom and a freak in the kitchen." Suddenly the topic changed to women and dating. I guess this topic was just a an ego booster for men at the BBQ, since most of the guys were married and would most likely never cheat on their spouses.
John started bragging about the previous woman he had been with he was into cougars. He said some on his experiences it was pretty hard to top, Tim Butted in with his stories. His stories was lame.
Jose I think took the cake when he started with his stories about Love. He worked as a bookie and prior to that worked in the entertainment industry. He met his wife in college, fell in love and married her. They lived happily ever after, that is until he discovered she was sleeping around with a black gentleman with a ten inch penis and he later found out she was also cheating on that dude with another dude, who had a twelve inch penis. Jose told his wife that since she cheated on him he would go party like a rock star and screw like a porn star and that’s what he did.
Now Jose was separated he was back on the horse and dating again. He blurted most musicians who write about love and dating I think are influenced by me. When we asked him what he meant he said have you heard the song Dating a porn star that was me. when we said that was totally bullshit. He went on to say Im in Love with a stripper that song is dedicated to him because he also dated a stripper.
There was one particular girl who completely captured him. she was a model and actress. Jose looked at ceiling above him smiled and said her eyes would melt an Eskimo’s ice pack. Her lips would make ninety year old men behave like sixteen year old boys begging “blow job please”. Her swinging hips, while she walked on the street, would make men get into car accidents. Her breasts would make homeless men masturbate on the street. Now Jose took his eyes away from the ceiling and looked at me and said“ yeah she was something”. Well we all knew that Jose dated some pretty fine women from model to wanna be actresses. But the one he said he loved and still love was a girl from a swim team in TN.
I guess Jose was a player, he closed up saying don't hate the player hate the game. He dated models actresses, musicians, porn stars, strippers and athletes and career professionals so I guess Jose was in living in the moment.