The Decission to reply

I guess I was  tired of me being single. Tired of having all my friends get married; of me being the third wheel every time I hung out with them.  I just could not take another failed relationship.  I had actually grown up and was considering replying to a matrimonial ad sent by father back in India. I guess I was tired of trying to find love on my own. Tired of surfing dating sites and dating incompatible women.  So 2 failed engagements and 3 stalkers later, I finally was man enough to ask for help, or was I?

My cousin was actualy the one planted the seed that made me realise I needed help. She had just lost her father and she initiallty broke down.  She was just 23, but was bold enough to ask the family to help in finding a boy for her. I opposed the idea at first. but since she was the only daughter, and I am the only son, we were similar. I began to think; I actually looked at what made her take the decision to reach out to family, and it made sense.

So I  was deciding  to reply to the ad, but was that the right thing to do?

Was me  asking my parents and family to help in finding me a bride, a good decisions?

These were the questions I had to answer

The disagreement.

In July of 2007,  I went to India and actually met some prospective matches. I said yes to one of them and started to be a hopeless romantic; I started to count my chickens even before I saw the eggs.

She said NO 3 days before I left back for the USA. I was mad and had a big fight with my father. Me being the guy who wants things as of yesterday and never having being told "NO" made me even angrier. I did not approve of her telling me at the last moment.

My dad said her reasons were family-based. My answer was she has to live with me and me with her, and with no one else (read: relatives).

In this fight I told my parents never to bring up a match again with me. I guess i was afraid of rejection.

The first advertisment reply

dear madam,


further to your advertisment in the examiner and the telephonic conversation we had on  in the evening hours I am pleased to give you my sons details:

son's name: #####################

his date of birth:  xxxx

his qualifications: b.com management studies, mumbai university, pgdbm in advertising & public relations, kc college mumbai, diploma in advanced computing art(CDAC), mumbai university, computing accounting,mumbai.

experience:after having worked in india for two years after graduation as an event coordinator and public relations executive and as a creative services consultant he migrated to the usa in may 2003 and has been there ever since. he is currently processing his papers for his green card and after two years will be applying for his american citizenship.he has been working in the usa as the director youth affairs and public relations with the all nations christian ministries in el monte, california. presently he is working on an assignment in kentucky and will be there till may 2007.

other details: both my wife and myself are practicing roman catholics and so ziren has been brought up in the roman catholic teachings and is also a practicing catholic.

i am in business and have my own event management company. my wife  is in the usa and is helping out in the church activities. he is the only child.

if you are interested in taking this matter further i would be obliged if you could send me your daughters resume, and telephonically confirm the same to me as i do not have an internet connection at home, so that i could forward the same to my son


thanking you,

yours sincerely,

A Little History

I was born and raised in Mumbai, India. I grew up in a wealthy family with a golden spoon in my mouth. Being the only grandchild and the only grandson I was spoilt. Just a month before I was born, my grandfather passed away. The family’s employees in the family business thought I was a reincarnation of their old boss and treated me like a king. 


At the age of 17, I started DJ-ing and soon I became a well-known and successful DJ in India.  I also played club-level soccer. My parents sent me to the United States at the age of 21.  I've been living in the US ever since.


Being a DJ and an athlete led to me having a lot of girlfriends. I remember my mother saying to me one day, "I just hope you don't get any one pregnant!"  I always knew I was creative and craved to be in love.  One year, during Christmas week, my girlfriend wanted to go to a dance in India.  I told her I could not take her cause I was DJing. She went on to tell me that I was some boyfriend who could not even spend time with his girlfriend. Her words made me hang up my CDs and give up being a DJ. This ended a 3-year relationship and an unspoken engagement. I was 19 years old.


Soon after, I started dating a model. When we broke up she said I hope you never find love. When I was 23, a priest with the gift of prophecy asked me to ask for forgiveness to God for some things I had done when I was 19; I could not figure out what "things" I was supposed to atone for. 


Just as i turned 22, my family arranged a marriage again.  Another engagement. I said yes, and I was supposed to go back to India in six months to get married. I never did go back to India. I asked my family to apologize to the girl and to break up the engagement on my behalf. 


At 24 I met the most fabulous girl and had the best relationship ever. She actually loved me for me--a nobody in the US--not a has-been in India. The relationship ended when she moved to Hawaii.  From that day, I have been searching for true love, because that is what I craved. a relationship like I had with that girl. She made me a better person.


I have tried dating girls my friends have set me up with, dating girls at church, tried to meet them at coffee shops and other places that singles hang out and online dating. I have dated a lot but have not found a worthy match.  After consultation with close confidants, I decided to ask my family to help me in finding a bride. The rest will be journalized with some history in future blog posts.