The Entertainment Professional by the guest blogger

The contents of this  post may be offensive to women and is for mature audience.

As my friends and I sat around the BBQ sipping our beers. One of my friends ,who is a fan of  Denny Crane from Boston Legal,  boldly stated "An angel in the bedroom and a freak in the kitchen."  Suddenly the topic changed to women and dating. I guess this topic was just a an ego booster for men at the BBQ, since most of the guys  were married and would most likely never cheat on their spouses. 

John started bragging about the  previous woman  he had been with he was into  cougars.  He said some on his experiences it was pretty hard to top, Tim Butted in with his stories. His stories was lame. 

Jose I think took the cake when he started with his stories about Love. He worked as a bookie and prior to that worked in the entertainment industry.  He met his wife in college, fell in love and married her. They lived happily ever after, that is until he discovered she was sleeping around with a black gentleman with a  ten inch  penis  and he later found out she was also cheating on that dude with another dude, who had a twelve inch penis.  Jose told his wife that since she cheated on him he would go party like a rock star and screw like a porn star and that’s what he did.  

Now Jose was separated he was back on the horse and dating again. He blurted most musicians who write about love and dating I think are influenced by me. When we asked him what he meant he said have you heard the song Dating a porn star that was me. when we said that was totally bullshit. He went on to say Im in Love with a stripper that song is dedicated to him because he also dated a stripper.  

There was one particular girl who completely captured him. she was a model and actress.  Jose looked at ceiling above him smiled and said her eyes would melt an Eskimo’s ice pack. Her lips would make ninety year old men behave like sixteen year old boys begging “blow job please”. Her swinging hips, while she walked on the street, would make men get into car accidents. Her breasts would make homeless men masturbate on the street. Now Jose took his eyes away from the ceiling and looked at me and said“ yeah she was something”. Well we all knew that Jose dated some pretty fine women from model to wanna be actresses. But the one he said he loved and still love was a girl from a swim team in TN. 

I guess Jose was a  player, he closed up saying don't hate the player hate the game.  He dated models actresses, musicians, porn stars, strippers and athletes  and career professionals so I guess Jose  was in living in the moment.  

The First Cut Is the Deepest

The First cut is always the deepest.  This weekend I will try to forget the hurt of that cut cause I will be meeting one of the girls that my family has arranged my marriage with. We have been talking for a while but but meeting for the very first time.


This meeting is causing me to have Butterflies in your stomach. I shared my fears with my friends and a friend shared with me  a few lyrics from a song it went some thing like this Butterflies in your stomach You know, it could be worse Yeah,You could have a caterpillar up your nose. The song goes on to say how one can overcome the butterflies in your stomach.


I  guess its just normal to have a butterfly in your stomach, we just have to channel the butterflies to spread their wings and fly away.  I guess from my perspective the butterflies are mainly because of the fear of rejection.  The fear of rejection normally causes me to do crazy things,  I hope that changes.  

The one crazy thing I have realized is when some one gets close to me I tend to run away. Am i going to run away from  the situation cause I am scared of getting hurt? I am hoping this time I take the  risk and face my fears and don't run away cause I think there is a chance that some one will say no in the future. Why wont I realize that they are getting close to me to compliment me not hurt me. 

dose one have a choice in an arranged marriage?

The million dollar question is, dose one have a choice in an arranged marriage? In most modern arrange marriages I would have to say yes. 

The bride and the groom have a choice to say no or decide to say yes. I have had a few friends who have had their marraiges arranged. in one instance a friend of mine saw over 500 gals before coming back to 134 and when he saw her again he said yes. 

He explained to me that some time it takes a second glance to say yes

The process is

1. The boys family is refereed a girl by family or friends, and are given her resume and picture
2. The family takes the proposal to the girls family who has the young mans resume and pic as well
3. The girls family dose their due diligence
4. The boy and girl are introduced (normally in the presence of family) at the girls house
5. The girls family then will ask the girl if she likes the young man
6. If she says yes then her father will call the boys father and ask the father if they can visit the family house. If She happens to says No the father wont call back
7. When the girl and her family visits the boys house they bring a gift. This time the boys boys father will ask his son the same question
8. The girls family will invite the boys family for Lunch or dinner the accepting of the invitation dose mean a tentative proposal 
9. The girl and the boy are never left alone all the face time they get will be in the presence of others

It may be hard making a decision when you have the presence of others around you, but you do have a choice at every stage of the process. its your decision what is you make  of it is also up to you.

In most cases when the marriage is arranged and if it reaches stage 5or 6 of the arrangement process the % of the marriage going through is high. The high % is mainly due to the fact that the boy and girl are relying generally on the wisdom of others. I guess the wisdom of others help cause then you are not blinded by the other persons looks. 

Geust blogger Raman

My work has given me the opportunity to meet a lot of interesting people from various walks of life, religious backgrounds and lifestyles. As I spoke with them I discovered that having my marriage kind of arranged was a great icebreaker, and my social circle mushroomed each time I retold my story.

 I personally think an arranged marriage assisted through technology is a good idea. I feel it would be easier for me to share a life with someone who understood my upbringing and culture.The scary part however of arranged marriage   to me is the big S. 

Most religions and civilized societies will agree that sex is an integral part of a marriage. “It’s also nice to have a spiritual and family connection with your mate, rather than one that begins in a bar and ends with sex.”  A good % of American couples have sex on the third date and I may just see my fiancé three times before we get married.  I would not be able to share with you what sex in an arranged marriage is like so i asked a friend

“In an arranged  marriage you have to cross the hurdle of just sex. Once you past the hurdle and build a trust and respect for the physical relationship to blossom. It may take time but once that time is elapsed you would have the most intimate physical relationship.”                                                                   

                                                                                                 Some one who had an arrange marriage 

Sexual Health I have been told  can be improved naturally through the practices of Tantra Yoga and tantric sex. Besides having a strong body/mind/spirit connection, every loving couple should also enjoy multiple, powerful sexual orgasms, which stimulate and increase the secretion of the pineal and pituitary glands.

As things were getting serious two of my friends  took me aside and gave me the rundown  on the birds and bees. Combine an Indian upbringing with a Catholic-school education, and my knowledge of sex was limited to "It is a sin." Despite blushing profusely and begging them to stop, I completed the crash course, one of my friends  who armed  with the Kama Sutra, which he had downloaded onto my PDA made some good laughing.

The long drive

Against all rules that I had made about not driving more than 15 mins on a date, I decided to drive 10 hrs over one weekend to actually see if we had a few things in common.

We met for lunch and had a nice conversation. The one thing that I felt after the lunch was the uncertainty and the fear of rejection. Not getting a call over the weekend, I called mid week and reached an answering machine now my uncertainty grew, but there was some kind of a assurance when she called back over the next weekend and we had a great conversation.

That evening I called my father and told him what had conspired during the week. He told me to see how it goes after few dates to see where it goes from there.

For some one who wants answers right away and likes instant gratification, I did not like the process where I was not in control of the situation.

The arranged marriage system has worked for a lot of people over a long period of time. Weighing those pros and cons I guess it worth finally listening to those older than me and taking their advice in this matter and see where it goes

The spread sheet from a guest blogger

One of my former supervisors suggested a spreadsheet. He told me that the best way to eliminate prospective marriage partners is by creating a table based on points. The points are given based on the ideal qualities that one seeks in a partner.


The candidate with the highest points will be the best match for marriage.  

One of my friends professes to have tried this method and has claimed that the spread sheet is a great insight into finding the right partner.

CANIDATES SHORTLISTING PROCESS 

Person            ®	A	B	C	D	E	F	H
Topic              ¯
Age	2	2	3	4	4	4	2
Education	4	4	3	1	1	3	2
Job	3	4	2	1	1	3	2
Income Potential	3	4	3	1	1	3	3
Upkeep	2	1	3	4	4	2	3
Attractiveness	4	2	2	3	2	3	4
Chemistry	3	3	1	1	2	2	2
Readiness for marriage	4	4	3	3	4	3	4
Intuition	4	4	2	2	2	3	3
Artistic creativity	4	3	2	3	2	4	4
Spirituality and religion	4	3	4	3	4	2	3
Entertainment/ fine dining enjoyment	3	4	2	2	2	3	3
Support given in my opinion	4	4	2	2	4	3	4
Music choice	3 All kinds	4 Country	2	3 All kinds	2	3 All kinds	3 All Kinds
Total	47	46	34	33	35	41	42

An additional 10 points is at stake for each short listed candidate. The 10 points is awarded based on personal interview / face to face meeting to see the connection with others

Guest bloggers

In upcoming weeks we will be featuring a few guest bloggers. This is being done to give the readers a different side and different viewpoint on arranged marriages.